I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
