I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
