Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
