you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
