Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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