I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
this hospital has no fireball
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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