I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Randomize
