Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
