how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
