I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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