PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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