i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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