i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
