my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize