Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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