her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
