your parents love me but you hate me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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