have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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