he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
