forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize