So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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