U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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