Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize