At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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