Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
