i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
