Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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