i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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