I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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