it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
