The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
