dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
birth control should be required to get into college
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
