i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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