I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
