i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
