Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
its liver damage thursday
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