Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
