he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
