I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
