Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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