woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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