it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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