rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
