Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
