I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
