Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
