im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
