i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
