What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
why didn't you poke me back
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
