First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
