He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
