Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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