Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
