Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
