Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
