i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
