So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
