my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
