Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
