i think i have herpe
just one?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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