Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
