I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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