It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
