my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Randomize
