Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
