Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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